I decided to set myself a task of a series of 6 small paintings with the underlying topic of the queer trans experience. I’ve never done a series before and I am so proud of all I got done!!

These works explore experiences both personal to me and also larger themes that recur when you are a trans person. Finding community and support in found family and safe queer spaces, stepping into and joyfully embracing your gender diversity, a hope for a brighter path moving forward. Sadness and fear from those we know and those we don’t and how that might shape our lives when we still live in hope. Learning to accept yourself, no matter what size or shape you are because we are ALL beautiful with so much to offer the world while also being excited to see how we can change and grow more fully into the person we have always been inside.

My gender journey has been a long one. Knowing I was different for as long as I can remember, I had no examples or information around me that could help to answer the question of why my skin didn’t quite fit.

Fast forward out of the 80’, 90’s and early 2000’s which were so full of peoples everyday hateful and derogatory speech, behaviours and negative media towards the queer communities to the 2010’s. Queer was a word that the LGBTQIA+ community was taking back. The queer community started using it widely and the power shifted from the tormentors to the tormented and it became a word to be proudly associated with rather than being ashamed of.

The internet brought a rise of information for so many. For the questioning or confused were exposed to cultures and information perhaps not readily available in our everyday lives and that brought with it answers and self acceptance, finding groups where we felt seen, heard and accepted as we were.

The internet let the world see that we, as queer folk, existed. While that brought a greater sense of belonging and helped to feel less isolated that also meant the nasties had greater access to us and the information too. What should have been a joyous occassion, for so many became dangerous. With online bullying, stalking and harassment every time you picked up your phone/tablet/computer the lives of the LGBTQIA+ became politicised and weaponised by the “majority” who wished this particular “minority” would be silent so they could go on pretending they don’t exist. This is an ongoing concern for many.

Coming out as Trans meant fear for me. While I was coming into myself, my confidence grew but the people around me weren’t necessarily supportive or safe. I was scared all the time. Yet, once I had owned who I was and knew deep in my core that my reality was simply not as others perceived it, then I could no longer hide myself.

To this day, as I transition using hormones and surgery I am scared using public toilets that my hormones aren’t right for this toilet but my genitals are wrong for that one. I just want to feel safe like everyone else. I am not, and have never been, interested in the other people in a bathroom. The biggest risk in the bathroom isn’t a trans person. It’s the regular people, much like you reading this now but who live with violence and intolerance in their hearts.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Some people have the most joyful and warm coming out experiences. For some they find their family in friends and other queer community. People who do so more than tolerate but who welcome you and celebrate the person that you are.

I was lucky enough to find such a place when I first came to Northern Rivers at Queer Family. Aiden who runs the incredible safe community hub for local queer people, young and old, as well as their friends and family was so beautifully welcoming from the very first time I reached out.

Having access to places like this is more important than most could know. Rates of family and domestic violence, mental health and suicide are very high in the queer and trans communities and having safe spaces gives them somewhere to safely seek help and be supported throughout.

I haven’t just continued to exist but have been encouraged to flourish with Queer Family. I facilitated a Young Queerios workshop helping the small humans (young folk) to express themselves through stamping and colour. I was also invited to participate in a TDOV (Trans Day of Visibility) event Queer family held in Mullumbimby where I exhibited and sold severall artworks as well as held a live interactive painting session where attendees were welcome to play with art supplies and freely create without expectations, rules or limits. Aiden also shared with me a course held by Virginia Reid, a fave Northern Rivers artist (and beautiful human) and I have been attending classes at Byron Community College in Visual Arts under her gentle tutelage.

Finding community, whatever that looks like to you helps everyone flourish. We lift eachother up, celebrate each others wins and hold you through the dark stuff. A found family.

Contact me to purchase any of these works. harli.art@outlook.com